Mediocracy in Action: The Statehood Quarters

Steven Dutch, Natural and Applied Sciences, Universityof Wisconsin - Green Bay
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I got a query about this page from someone at a coin magazine. I told him I was a casual collector, and that in my opinion, "serious" collectors had ruined numismatics ("serious" hobbyists ruin every hobby they touch - the very expression "serious" hobbyist is an oxymoron) by turning it into a status competition and investment scheme. I never heard back from him.

The idea of putting out 50 distinct quarters commemorating each state was one of the most exciting ideas to come out of Washington in a long time. By August 2004 we were over halfway through and overall the project merited maybe a C+. In some states sectional rivalries prevented the selection of a really distinctive landmark. In other states the designs are cluttered, or leave so much blank space the designs are bland and boring. Commercial interests probably dictated Vermont's klutzy maple syrup motif instead of a covered bridge, and Wisconsin's dairy products instead of a French fur trader.

But the real killer is Political Correctness. We have two designs commemorating the Revolution, none at all commemorating the Civil War. We can thank the increasingly mean-spirited tendency to equate honoring Confederate soldiers with approving slavery for that. You can bet the Little Big Horn and Wounded Knee won't show up, and forget the Arizona Memorial when Hawaii's turn comes by. Can you even believe Texas passed on the Alamo? We don't as yet have a single design featuring any Indian figures, events, or artifacts, or any significant black history apart from Louisiana's jazz trumpet. My sympathy for the Indians is tempered by the opposition of some activists to Indian mascots and symbols; they brought it on themselves.

Apparently the remaining 20 quarters will be designed by artists at the Mint based on ideas selected by the states. That might improve quality, but bear in mind these are the same people who started with the elegant, classically inspired Barber-Morgan coins in 1900 and had given us the most hideously bland coins in history by 1960, then capped it off with the Susan B. Ugly dollar. Still, the 2005 and 2006 designs were significantly better than the earlier designs. But the 2007 designs feature three of the worst designs of all, including Wyoming's probable all time worst of the lot.

Delaware: Like most people, I wondered what in the world the picture of Caesar Rodney on horseback was all about. Then I saw 1776, probably the most intelligent musical around. Rodney was elderly and ill with cancer when he rode on horseback to Philadelphia to cast his state's deciding vote for the Declaration of Independence. Visually it's not exciting, but it may well be the most meaningful. They got it right.
Pennsylvania C: The
New Jersey: Washington crossing the Delaware. They got this one right.
Georgia: State
Connecticut: I
Massachusetts: The
Maryland: Definitely should have been the siege of Fort McHenry.
South Carolina: The
New Hampshire: The Old Man of the Mountain. What else could it be? More poignant now that the profile has collapsed.
Virginia: Lee and Grant at Appomatox. Commemorates the Civil War and reconciliation.
New York: A pre-9/11 Manhattan skyline would have been tremendously poignant in retrospect. Or Niagara Falls.
North Carolina: ddd
Rhode Island: The
Vermont: Covered bridge.
Kentucky: Why not the distinctive twin turrets of Churchill Downs?
Tennessee: Tennessee .
Ohio: Ohio
Louisiana: The
Indiana B: Another outline map with logo, but the rakish angle of the Indy racer and the circlet of 19 stars make it more interesting than most.
Mississippi: Why didn't a single state along the Mississippi do a steamboat?
Illinois F: Ee-yuck.
Alabama: Helen Keller
Maine: Do a lighthouse but do it right. The Portland Head Light is far more picturesque and recognizable.
Missouri D: Another great concept but total failure in execution. Lewis and Clark setting off up the Missouri with the Gateway Arch in the background. Unlike one reviewer, I don't have a problem with the anachronism. If you're looking to portray an event literally, anachronism is a problem; if you're looking to portray historical significance, then juxtaposing past and present can be very effective. But it looks more like the three men in the tub from the nursery rhyme. Apparently the quarter botched the winning design so badly that some Missourians took to pasting stickers with the original design on it in protest. The original design was far better than the final result - in fact, Missouri had so many outstanding design ideas it looks like someone who hates Missouri picked the worst possible one.
Arkansas: This one is not bad. One of the better designs. I think it works because it fills most of the space and everything is big enough to see.
Michigan: A
Florida: A really well executed Space Shuttle launch. Nothing else.
Texas: What complete wuss decided not to use the Alamo?
Iowa C: A country schoolhouse. One of the Bridges of Madison County would have been more interesting as well as more recognizable to outsiders. One favored design finalist was Grant Wood's American Gothic, which didn't make it because of copyright concerns (bet Iowa could have fixed that if they'd put their minds to it). Only a complete imbecile could look at American Gothic and think it portrays Iowa in a favorable light. The quarter is now out, and isn't as dull as the pre-release sketches suggested, but a quarter is just not big enough to portray a panoramic scene.
Wisconsin F C: In an act of daring courage, the governor vetoed the recommendation of the voters to go with a French trapper greeting an Indian. It was badly done, but historical, and would have been the first - believe it or not - statehood quarter to include an Indian. He decided instead in favor of a cow, ear of corn, and cheese wheel. Really. In defense of this design, it's the first to commemorate the importance of agriculture in America. Also, it looks better in reality than the preliminary drawings. But the state motto, "Forward," puzzles even Wisconsin residents. Given the state's hostility to technology, the motto should be "No Change, No Way," or maybe "NIMBY." But it looks better than the pre-release pictures. Upgrade to C.
California A: John Muir, a California condor, and Half Dome. Either the condor or Half Dome alone would have worked better, but overall not bad. There's a unifying theme of conservation. Like Alabama, perhaps, the design tries to show how California would like to be pictured. Maybe a more truthful design would be Muir looking at Yosemite on a busy weekend and weeping. California is teeming with so many great symbols (the Golden Gate Bridge, redwoods, Monterey, Santa Barbara Mission, Mount Whitney, even Dragnet's L.A. City Hall) that I was worried that conflicting interests would end up giving us a bland state outline map or generic state symbols. Half Dome is an ideal landmark since it's in the center of the state.
Minnesota B: A northwoods lake with loon and boat, and small state outline. Certain to get ribbing by comparison with Canada's "loonie," but what's silly about showing a loon to represent the far north? It's not the loon Canadians despise, it's the coin. Unlike Europeans, who long ago gave up on the trivialization of their money, North Americans have the feeling that dollars need to be bills, not coins. The loonie could have had Pamela Anderson's Playboy centerfold and still been despised. The Susan B. Anthony dollar was rightly scorned for its repulsiveness, but the elegant Sacagawea dollar fared little better. Since we're way off topic already, a Canadian gave me a great nickname for their two dollar coin. It has a picture of a polar bear, and I'd heard it called a "twonie" by analogy with "loonie." But he said it's also called a "moonie" because it has a picture of the Queen "with a bear behind."
Oregon A: The got this one right. A beacon in the darkness. The final design is slightly marred by poor cropping at the bottom.
Kansas B: Bison and sunflowers. They got this one right, too.
West Virginia B: The New River Gorge Bridge. The bridge is dramatic, and it sure beats a strip mine. The actual coin looks very nice. I'm leaning toward an A-minus.
Nevada A B: Anything connected with gambling would probably be unacceptable, and we won't even talk about Nevada's unique local option on prostitution. Still, how about a "double or nothing" quarter? Flip it at the cash register. If it comes up tails you get to keep it and still count it toward your purchase. Heads, you lose it plus you have to pay another quarter. Realistically, something from Nevada's mining heritage would be nice. The Pony Express would also be a possibility. Hoover Dam? Something about Area 51 would be a hoot, but it won't happen. The five design finalists are all excellent: wild horses, a miner, bighorn sheep, Indian artifacts and a collage of state symbols. Nevada is not a state you generally think of when you think of bighorn sheep, but these are desert bighorns. The wild horses won. The actual coin rates a B. The design is okay but just not that effective when shrunk to the size of a quarter.
Nebraska A: Scott's Bluff on the Oregon Trail is such a natural it's a cinch we won't see it. It's too far west and out of the Corn Belt. If Nevada passes on the Pony Express, it would work here, too. There were two good finalist designs: a covered wagon and Chimney Rock, or Chief Standing Bear. I liked the first better. Unfortunately there were two lame-o finalists as well: a picture of the State Capitol and an Art Deco statue of a sower. The State Capitol design featured the legend "Home of the Unicameral," rivaled for meaninglessness only by Maryland's "Old Line State." (So you have the only state legislature with one chamber. Whoopee.) And the winner is Chimney Rock.
Colorado C B: Lots of mountains but none of them scream "Colorado." The Denver skyline with mountains behind might be nice. Mesa Verde would be wonderful but it's too far down in the southwest corner to appeal to most of the state and it doesn't tout present industry or tourism. Bet on a skier. And yup, a skier was one of the finalists, but not recreational. Instead, one finalist commemorates the 10th Mountain Division. Another design supposedly commemorates Mesa Verde although the design is cluttered and all but unintelligible. There are two nondescript mountain designs. The best design shows the Maroon Bells and the legend "Centennial State." Colorado, the state that has a big C on its flag, is certain to get no better than a C unless they go back to the drawing board. The winner is one of the nondescript mountain designs. But the Mint artists somehow did a likeness of Long's Peak in Rocky Mountain National Park, instead. Not great, not as bad as the proposed designs.
North Dakota B A: My first impulse is to suggest a totally blank coin (and unlike a lot of folks who rib North Dakota, I have actually been to North Dakota). Failing that, a telephone pole and beer can with the captions "State Tree" and "State Flower." The state is nearly a rectangle, so even the outline map gambit would be bland. This is a state so desperate for symbols it touts the Peace Garden on its license plates. Teddy Roosevelt is a possibility. To get really daring, how about a missile silo commemorating the Cold War? How about the slogan "Are we 39th or 40th?" - when the statehood bills were signed for the Dakotas, President Benjamin Harrison shuffled the papers to be fair, so technically, nobody knows. North Dakota is listed first by custom because it's first alphabetically.
The two finalists are not bad. One pictures flying geese, the other a herd of buffalo. Kansas has buffalo, too, but since both coins are worth the same amount, no foul. The bison won. It's now out (October 2006) and really looks nice. It fills the space effectively and the texture of the background landscape is well executed. One of the best. North Dakota, ya done good.
South Dakota C: Mount Rushmore is a natural, or the Badlands. Do the Crazy Horse sculpture if you want to respect Indian sentiments. How about Wounded Knee if you want to show you really have a conscience? Maybe a dinosaur skeleton? Maybe the T-Rex Sue, with a scathing comment about the Federal Government.
And the winner is Mount Rushmore with a pheasant flying overhead. I give it a C for cluttering the design with a pheasant, a bird you are guaranteed not to see flying anywhere around Mount Rushmore.
Montana F: Glacier National Park, especially the postcard view looking up St. Mary Lake, would be perfect. You can bet it won't be the Little Big Horn. Montana doesn't have enough of Yellowstone to use.
AAAAGH! MY EYES! IT HURTS! MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY! A bison skull and some generic looking hills. Finally something as ugly as Maryland's coin. You have got to be kidding here. I sat staring in stunned disbelief for about five minutes when I looked up the winning design. The three rejected finalists, an elk, a state outline with a scenic sunrise, and a scenic vista, were all far better.
Washington A: Mount Rainier, the Space Needle, or coastal sea stacks would all work. Mount Saint Helens erupting would really be original. The Wenatchee satanic cult witch-hunt and the Kennewick Man fossil debacle are probably too much downers.
The winner is a leaping salmon with Mount Rainier in the background. If I gave pluses and minuses I'd be in the A- or B+ range, but not bad at all. The real coins tend to look better than the flat designs. The losing candidates were an overly busy state outline and montage of symbols, and an Indian whale design. The whale design, though not as attractive as the winner, has a certain coolness and whimsy about it that are appealing.
Idaho F: A group of survivalists holed up in a remote cabin? Probably not. Bet on mountains or mining. Idaho has a sliver of Yellowstone but nothing distinctive. Craters of the Moon or Hell's Canyon are possibilities.
The winner is a bust of a peregrine falcon with a small outline of the state. Some Idahoans are petitioning to have the design changed. I'm not getting into whether the falcon is a representative symbol of Idaho, but the design itself is ug-leee. None of the three other finalists had much going for them. Best by far was a farmland-mountain vista. Another mountain vista was amateurishly chopped off at the bottom. Third was a state outline with some kind of flowering branch and a song lyric rivaled only by Nebraska's proposed "home of the unicameral" and Maryland's "Old Line State" for silliness.
Wyoming F: Old Faithful, Yellowstone Falls, Devil's Tower or the Tetons would make great designs, but we'll probably get a cowboy.
What's going on here? After a couple of years of designs way above average, we're getting a string of losers. This one is the worst of all, even uglier than Maryland and Montana. Three of the four other finalists showed a cowboy and bronco. Only one showed a natural feature - Old Faithful. The "winner" is even more banal than the losers. The cowboy is in silhouette with no background or texture. The only other feature is the state nickname, "The Equality State." How about "The Total Lack of Original Ideas State?"
Utah B: I'd love to see the joining of the rails at Promontory Point but we may well get a state outline and a beehive. Rainbow Bridge, Zion Canyon or Bryce Canyon would also be good. One early unofficial proposal (December 2005) shows Delicate Arch in Arches National Park. This will be very hard to top. And Hooray! It is the Golden Spike! The published design is sort of blah but may improve in the final execution. The other two finalists were a beehive and a snowboarder.
Oklahoma C: By September 2007, all the designs are in. Oklahoma - yawn - has the state bird and flower. Pretty but so ho-hum.
New Mexico D: Taos Pueblo, or better yet Acoma, would be wonderful. Carlsbad Caverns might work. Do we dare commemorate the Manhattan Project? Instead we'll probably get that sun sign from the license plates. Please God, not Kokopelli. As of December 2005, there are two proposed designs. One is the Albuquerque hot air balloon festival, which I hadn't thought of but which might work really well. And the other is - yes - a mushroom cloud. I'm not betting on that one. As of January 2007, other ideas include Shiprock and a classic car driving down Route 66 into the sunset. That one won't fly, but it's a nice idea. "New Mexico's quarter design is simple, artistic and intriguing," said Governor Bill Richardson when he unveiled the design, a zia (the sun symbol on New Mexico's license plates) superimposed on a state outline - for the most nearly square state in the Union. Simple, yes. Artistic and intriguing? No way.
Arizona B: Has to be the Grand Canyon. Meteor Crater would be spectacularly original, so forget it. A saguaro cactus wouldn't be a bad symbol. And the winner includes both the Grand Canyon and a saguaro. Also the legend "Grand Canyon State" for the benefit of people who couldn't figure out what that hole in the ground is. And a sunset. Looks awfully busy but it might be better in reality.
Alaska C: The state flag with the Big Dipper and Polaris was unique and should be part of it. Denali would be perfect, or a glacier. Work in the aurora borealis somehow. It would be interesting to know how many people suggested penguins. The mediocrats passed over a design with a dog sled and Denali in favor of a grizzly bear catching a fish.
Hawaii B: The postcard view of Diamond Head would work nicely. The final design shows a map of the islands and a figure of King Kamehameha. Esthetically it's a low B but I'd almost give it an A for being the only state design to commemorate any native history (two if you count New Mexico's zia).

And a Counterculture List

Delaware: xxxxx
Pennsylvania: Eagles fans on a rampage. Or a Philly cheese steak. Or Rocky on City Hall steps.
New Jersey: Tony Soprano educating some guy's kneecaps.
Georgia: Confused motorist at the intersection of Peachtree Street and Peachtree Street.
Connecticut: xxxxx
Massachusetts: The Big Dig, with falling concrete.
Maryland: Bart Simpson as Edgar Allen Poe's raven.
South Carolina: xxxxx
New Hampshire: xxxxx
Virginia: Developers paving over a Civil War battlefield.
New York: xxxxx.
North Carolina: Group hug: Ray Nifong and the Duke lacrosse team.
Rhode Island: xxxxx
Vermont: xxxxx
Kentucky: The mccoys (see West Virginia)
Tennessee: If you're gonna do music, do Elvis. At Graceland
Ohio: xxxxx
Louisiana: Ray Nagin fiddling while New Orleans floods. (I know the quarter came out before Katrina, but warnings about flooding came out long before that).
Indiana: xxxxx
Mississippi: xxxxx
Illinois: Construction delays on the Tri-State Tollway. Celebrating 100 years.
Alabama: xxxxx
Maine: A lobster begging for mercy.
Missouri: Branson as Homer Simpson described it: "What Vegas would look like if Ned Flanders ran it." Alternative (courtesy of a joke site): two dimes and a nickel duct taped together.
Arkansas: Your favorite ribald Bill Clinton idea. The first ever adults-only quarter?
Michigan: Billboard with the slogan "Would the last person leaving Detroit please turn out the lights?"
Florida: Tourists taking out a second mortgage to buy theme park tickets. Or confused motorists waiting at a green light.
Texas: An armed pickup truck.
Iowa: xxxxx
Wisconsin: Flower children gone to seed.
California: Urban sprawl out to the horizon. Or the street intersection at Haight and Ashbury.
Minnesota: A roll of masking tape (invented by 3M, formerly Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing).
Oregon: xxxxx
Kansas: xxxxx
West Virginia: The Hatfields (see Kentucky)
Nevada: How about a "double or nothing" quarter? Flip it at the cash register. If it comes up tails you get to keep it and still count it toward your purchase. Heads, you lose it plus you have to pay another quarter.
Nebraska: xxxxx
Colorado: xxxxx
North Dakota: My first impulse is to suggest a totally blank coin (and unlike a lot of folks who rib North Dakota, I have actually been to North Dakota). Failing that, a telephone pole and beer can with the captions "State Tree" and "State Flower."
South Dakota: Wall Drug and the Corn Palace.
Montana: xxxxx
Washington: The Wenatchee satanic cult witch-hunt and the Kennewick Man fossil debacle.
Idaho: A group of survivalists holed up in a remote cabin?
Wyoming: xxxxx
Utah: xxxxx
Oklahoma: xxxxx
New Mexico: A mushroom cloud.
Arizona: xxxxx
Alaska: The Exxon Valdez
Hawaii: Don Ho. What else?

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